*present time*

if you're ever at a outside a motel smoking a joint on some stairs and a house keeper walks by, leave.
chances are the cops will show up in, oh i don't know 10 minutes.

heed this warning.
of thou shalt be smited by the great dick of the law.

Highway

One Time, prom came around and since I was a junior, i didn't necessarily want to go, i just wanted to go to all the parties. And i mean, it was in San Francisco...who in their right mind would pass up partying there?
Shortly after arriving to The W (helllll yeah we stayed there!), the people actually going to prom left and me and my best friend started getting ready to party and began to make a premature dent in the mini bar in our room. I went to the "boys" room next door and grabbed the weed out of the safe, stole one of my bestie's cigs and started to roll a cute little j.
When our ride arrived, she had only drinken 1 bottle of champagne and i had only had half a bottle of Chardonnay. So we packed some more drank, my joint, a black and mild and bounced. We got to Kyle's hotel and started drinking more and more. Long story short: alcohol annihilated, my favorite sunglasses got lost, we burned on the balcony, some people fucked, and I began feeling hella sick so I made Kyle take us back to The W.
I totally thought I was gonna puke. I had the spins bad. Even when I closed my eyes I felt like i was spinning. I climbed into bed, started munching on Doritos and flipped on the food channel.
Watching the food channel was thee best idea of the night. My chips started to taste like everything I saw. I fucking feasted.
When bestie finally got out of the shower I thought I'd be a good idea to take a bubble bath to help me feel better. After about 20 minutes of being in there, HELLA people walked into our room and 2 of them walked in the bathroom. I just smiled and said, "oh hey whats up guys?"
Life was fucking good.
So much happened that night. Damn. We even nicknamed it "The Hangover Part 2" since that movie had just recently come out.
We left SF around...i have no clue, but it must've been around lunch since we stopped to get kids meals at Burger King. Then we set off to Santa Cruz.
About half way through our drive down the 1 Highway (haha punny..) me and the bestie thought I'd be perfect to smoke. so we pulled over, grabbed the weed from the boys and proceeded down the coast while i rolled another fag joint.
If you know where the 1 Highway is, you'd know why this was the best cudi cruise ever. Its a road that goes all the was down the coast, literally just yards from the beaches.
Smoking along the coast and listening to Slightly Stoopid was fucking awesome.
We got to the beach and some shit went down...but that's not important. What was important was driving down the 1, smoking a j, and bumping Slightly Stoopid.

The Twentieth of April

One Time, we left an hour earlier for school.
Yeah that's right, we had school.
Sucks right?
Anyways, we got to Dream Team member number one's house and a new friend was there.
He matched our green crack with some stuff called naked lady...or something. anyways it was GODLY.
Around 7:45 we decided we better head off to school...school started at 7:50.
"this is the perfect picture of 420!" *smile, double thumbs up*
"....like 6 cops just drove by."
When we finally got to school, I remembered we had some standardized testing going on.
I was already late, but I still thought I should go to school. I was such a good kid.
I walked into the room and right where my tiny, gray haired math teacher would normally stand, stood a massive black man.
"are you __________?"
"uh...yes."
WHAT THE FUCK.
I was lightweight terrified.
He handed me my test booklet and wished me luck with a smile.
Oh yeah...testing....
That was some bullshit.
Why the hell did I think I could do Pre-Calculus while I was lit off my ass?
The math wasn't even the hardest part. The most difficult thing was tracking down those little bubbles you had to fill in! They kept floating away. I needed a nap.
Right before I fell asleep another kid walked in super late with sunglasses on.
"Damn....I need some Cheetos", he said.
"Dude...you read my mind. I'm hella hungry!", I replied.
Everyone looked at us.
Everyone knew.
That's alright. The other kid was my buddy as of right then.
That's the one thing about tree. It brought people together.
Then I passed out for a good hour.

After school, as a loyal toaker would do, I prepared to smoke again at 4:20.
Sadly, everyone was busy so I smoked alone for the first time in my whole life.
I walked through a hole in a chainlink fence that lead to a little concrete half-pipe like structure which was covered in graffiti.
I loved that place.
I laid down over one of my own tags and took out my last resort way of smoking; a pen cap.
Load. Light. Burn.
Literally though, it burnt my lips.
It was ok though. The little half pipe overlooked a field and some hills.
It was beautiful.

Rain

One Time, it rained.
What else would you do in a cow town on a rainy day?
I went over to one of the member's of the "Dream Team's" house and we just chilled in his room.
We opened the window to air out and there was a cat on the roof.
...A CAT.
just...whoa...
Ridiculous..
.....
After staring at it for like 20 minutes.....we did.....something.....else.....

Damn that was some good weed.

Dream Team

One Time, I decided I NEEDED to hang out with them.
Everything worked out perfectly for them.
They were the best of friends and always had great and unique experiences.
Like the time they were sitting on a bench after they matched a bowl and a talented guitarist approached them and just sat down and played for them.
But I think when I chilled with them their luck was even better.
Probably just because I took all the bad luck.
Anyways, we decided to take a hike up the hills with a blanket and some tree.
I had to be carried up on a count of I was wearing flip flops and there was barbed wire on the ground...
After scoping out the perfect spot, we laid out the blanket.
Right when we sat down it was 4:20pm
"people plan this sort of thing, but not us my friends"
Noah was always talking like a prophet.
1 breath for 1 bowl
We were pros.

Oh and the bad luck I mentioned?
I walked down the hill barefoot and stepped in cow shit twice.
Good thing I couldn't give a shit.

Not Just in the Movies

"ALLEHHHALLLUUH!"
.....
"what?"
"I just inhaled the roach...Cheech and Chong status"

Sonic Good

One Time, we found a path that led to Sonic.
It might as well have been the golden brick road because it lead to the best chili cheese fries ever.
We left school knowing exactly where we were going and what we were doing.
But after a pow wow on the path we forgot.
...oh ya Sonic.
Anyways, I saw a small dog and just knew it wanted to be my friend.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going to make friends with that dog! Just wait like a second and I'll be right back."
It freaked out at me and disappeared through a whole in the fence...crazy ass dog.
......
Well we got to Sonic and I could not contain myself.
It was just hilarious.
I'm not sure what exactly, but it just was.
A friend of mine came and sat next to me,
"You're so obviously not from here and it's awesome."
He was right. I just moved in, stuck out like a sore thumb, but somehow my uniqueness attracted the locals.
Good thing too because I loved their homegrown goodness.